Wednesday, December 28, 2005
well its still so early bt in advance '
HAPIE BIRTHDAE ELVY!!!'
luv u gerl! may ur life b filled wif warmth n joy! =)
another yr gonna past... lets recap dis past yr:
Jan- my position as captain finally filled wif obstacles wif heavy responsibilities of fulfiling wad my players wan n wad mr samad wans.. definitely nt an easy job.. ive tried to make everyone hapie bt some things cant b controlled.. bt ive tried my best n im proud of myself regardless of wad others think..
- said gt in NS... hahha.. everything was much better
Feb to MAr- juggling hockey n tarian.. pretty okae.. gt to stay slim.. haha.. k actually i dont reli remember much of wad i did suring dis times except for skool, hockey n tarian! n theres dancefest! haha.. fun tinking bt the practices all.. tinking of the steps.. all the after skool practices.. haha.. karma n n'sync..
April- hockey tournament.. rollercoaster ride for me.. proud wen we played against Vjc n dissapointment against Jjc.. haish.. im proud of my team no matter wad.. =) oh we gt gold for SYF! woohhooo!! n frenships formed in dancing gerls inc. practices till late at nite.. calling macs after our practice at kallang itself.. n oh ya.. my 1st yr anniversary =) *s.CHAPTER1.w*
May- Muaz BDAE!!!! hahaha.. wait let me bold tat '
MY BDAE!!!!!' haha.. =D end of hockey captainship.. =( haha.. many practices for upcoming events to perform tarian..
June- well.. Said's bdae! had a gd celebration.. n also.. his accident.......
July- my nenek was found to haf cancer... n oh ya manifestasi! tarian padi.. haha.. learning the dance in almost a dae n teaching the juniors.. getting weried for them.. drilling them lyk crazy.. haha.. n the end product was satisfactory.. =)
Aug- trying to cope thru life.. (till now! haha) juggle wif 3 heavy things in my mind n heart..
Sep- preparing for prelims.. hahaha.. tough time.. bt manage to sail thru it barely.. mind n heart was definitely nt in peace..
Oct- haha.. results pretty sucky.. bt im fortunate to pass 2 a's!! haha.. started to numb myself..
Nov- a's. a's. a's. well.. tried my best.. come wad may... totally numb....
Dec- the result of numbing myself too much.. struggling inside.. suddenly realise tat the hard part wasnt in the beginning bt now.. wen time passed....
stil finding werk!!! playing hockey a lot! going out wif fana, fana naj n am many2! haha.. play soccer nt forgetting! stupid smu referees n lovely jersey!!! woohhooo!
to all:
i thank u so much for making my life bearable.. im sori if ive caused u any trouble n hurt ani of u which i noe i did b4.. trust me some things are unintentional.. i swear im nt a person to hurt my frens.. i thank u again..
Wish:
- to haf gd results cos dis yr haf been so hard on me.. i juz wan results cos it'll b the lite of happiness for me.. for my future.. my blurred future.. i pray i pray..
- n to haf more strength n patience wif wadeva mor eobstacles to come my way..
- i pray tat my nenek will still b ard even though the doc saed she has a yr or so..
so b4 i go genting n come back in the new yr..
gdbye 2005.......
♥ my tales
9:00:00 PM
Monday, December 26, 2005
went to meet fana naj n fana curly n zam juz now n u noe wad! i wasnt reli in a gd mood in the morning wen i woke up lar.. then in the train i was stoning.. n i told myself tat its pointless lar.. i juz wanna njoy myself n nt torment myself wif the emotions.. so i shut my eyes (im sure the other passengers tink im slping! wkaka) n i pictured myself, first in my brain, i literally push my tots awae then in my heart i pushed awae those emotions of sadness n guilt n anger n etc.. i noe its weird n u guys tink im crazy bt i reli imagined tat in my head.. n i felt better after tat.. n i definitely had a great time wif them tadi.. thx gerls! =)
OMG! neoprints r so fun!! it shud b the in thing now again! cos its so lawa n all! heh heh.. oh wells.. im oficially a tuition teacher! woohhoooo!!! yippeee!! hip hip hooray!! haha.. yes yes im mad.. wats new? =p
*n i constantly ask myself y did u do wad u did n make me deserve this?*
♥ my tales
11:47:00 PM
Saturday, December 24, 2005
u noe how sumtimes u get misunderstood on ur intentions? ive been thru tat so many2 times.. n its juz shitty.. lifes been hard enof.. im nt complaining bt the obstacles.. redha.. wadeva happens it happens for a reason.. i juz wish some wud cut me some slack.. pls all i nd now is support n to b able to smile.. i don nd to be called a bitch n to be misunderstood.. it hurts so much even though i try to push it aside.. pls note tat ive oredi haf so much emotions to push aside n i dont nd more.. n i will never try to hurt anione.. i juz wish it will stop.. i juz wish pple will understand how i feel bt they cant.. n i cant expect tat.. no one wud noe hw fucking hard it is to lead life rite now.. i juz wan to be hapie... pls... i wonder wad i do tat will juz keep pple awae frem tinking tat im a bad person.. shud i care? shud i nt?
i don wan my nenek to leave.........................................................................
♥ my tales
11:42:00 AM
Wednesday, December 21, 2005
i wan to cry!!! everyone has a work n nt me!! can u guys pls promote me?! i wan to werk! im sooooooo bored ar at hm! k stop whining... =| haiyah..
if i still don get werk, i'll go wif fana's idea for us to werk at starbucks.. nt tat bad wad.. n i wont tell anione of u where i werk cos i noe u guys will come for free drinks! hahaha.. =p
im lyk aching lar.. so many days play soccer than smlm play hockey.. wahlau.. aching.. n my mom was lyk saying tat i looked lyk a red lobster yesterdae.. i pray i pray im nt gonna get sunburn! argh! eh? din i sae i will stop whining? ar.. hu cares!
i wan to werkk!! i wan money!!
oh ya.. if anione one of u haf cuzins hu wans tuition n ure nt free or anithing pls tell me cos i wan to teach tuition k! thx! =)
elvis presley has a very nice voice *melts* hahaha.. im watching a tv programme tat he act in n sing in so ya.. haha.. k toodles!
♥ my tales
2:33:00 PM
Tuesday, December 20, 2005
im nt strong.. reli.. cos i dont tink pushing awae every little feeling of sadness in me is a sign of strength.. bt thx for the support alman.. =)
6 months n counting...
its getting harder...
GOd, ure the oni one tat truly noes wads reli inside of me...
♥ my tales
6:02:00 PM
Thursday, December 15, 2005
was watching tv juz now.. n there was dis sitcom tat was on.. bt sumhow it wasnt on anything funny bt it was on death.. a death of a father.. a summary of the background of sotry is tat the father is a journalist or sumthing lyk tat.. he has a column in a paper n b4 he died he wrote a 5hr article.. nt tat long bt it was touching.. summarising, the touching part was wen he mentioned on how his kids are so open tat they express their feelings to him, like hw they said 'dad, ure an idiot' or 'dad,ure a geek' or 'i hate u'. he goes on by saying tat he cud haf prevent this if he was more strict n tat his kids b in fear of him n therefore the house will b less noisy cos they dont wish to express themselves much.. bt he doesnt wan it tat wae.. he knows tat each time or hw many times they insult him, he noes tat their love will come after.. he noes tat his children loves him very much..
i reflect.. in some families, saying 'i love u' to each other is as easy as abc.. bt for me it can b so hard to sae tat to my famili.. mayb im nt used to it.. bt for me, i mite alwaes get angry wif my dad n i mite never express myself bt i noe deep inside i luv him very much n i noe as long as i still do, nuthing else matters.. same goes wif my mom.. we mite b worlds apart in terms of personality bt i still luv her.. n my bro.. i luv him too..
i guess i cant change the wae my famili werks now, bt insyallah wen i grow up n haf my own famili, i hope to make it a practise tat expressing love isnt a gesture oni, bt a habit..
♥ my tales
12:12:00 PM
Sunday, December 04, 2005
prom was great...
it cud haf been better...
*if u were there...*
♥ my tales
4:50:00 PM
